Trust

It is so important in this life to find people you can count on. Reliable friends are hard to come by, so when you find a friend you know you can count on, don’t let them go. 

I believe that having strong people around you is the only thing that will keep you going at times in this life. It is so important to identify the people that you can count on, whether that be friends or family. Knowing you’re not alone in times of need can be hugely reassuring.

If you notice a friend is struggling, it is essential that you support them. Make sure they know that they can count on you. I think that one of the best qualities a person can have is being trustworthy and reliable, it proves you are a genuinely compassionate person, and that can be a rare quality to find.

It can often be hard to trust people when you have had your trust broken in the past. But I urge you to remember that if someone lets you down, you cannot punish other people in your life for that. One friend going back on their word, or a promise being broken does not mean that everyone will let you down. I believe that being open with the people closest to you even if you are let down occasionally, definitely beats struggling on your own. 

Now that does not mean you should run off and tell the world you deepest darkest secrets. I mean you can if you want to, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Instead find a strong unit of people that have earned your trust, and help them lighten the load of whatever you may be struggling with! Of course always remember that trust is a two way street and that friend whom is always there to lend a helping hand, might actually need you to to return the favour!

My Best Friend

Ben Mclean. No words will ever be able to do him justice, but a picture speaks a thousand words, right? So with the help of my camera roll, I’ll give it another try. 

  A slightly blurry picture taken of an actual photograph. Ben has always been able to make me smile. Always by my side. This is potentially my favourite picture of myself and Ben, I need to hunt down the original to add to my wall of photographs. Anyway, as you can see Ben has always been my best friend, as he always will be.
  Nothing says hapiness like being in Florida with a dessert nearly as big as you are. This photo always brings a smile to my face. 
  Same holiday, different photo. This holiday is potentially the best I have ever gone on. Me, Ben and Olivia were all in a complete daze as we wandered around meeting all of of favourite characters. And in between that me and Ben were of course standing on our tip toes and trying to get on every single roller coaster!
  Anything to avoid a serious photo I guess. What’s worse, me sporting a beard or Ben’s necklace? 

  
Not entirely sure the meaning behind this one? I can remember we both thought we looked amazing that night, embarrassing to look back on. With our matching poses and tartan jackets we make some pair. I actually think we look quite similar in this photo! Which is not something I often get to say.

  
The one thing I always envy about people with short hair; the ability to go under the water and surface with a new ridiculous hairdo. Photos like this are ones I love the most, because they aren’t posed for. They’ve been taken during a good moment, a permanent keepsake of a valuable memory. 

  
 Olivias all time favourite photo. I wonder why? Let’s take a look at my face… This was taken during the most horrific storm in Turkey, which of course didn’t stop us from putting on the warmest clothes we had (pathetic attempt) and going out for a meal! 

  A more recent photo. Something me and Ben both hated was having to pose for photographs. We’d look back at the camera afterwards, agree that we looked truly hideous, and pretend the photo never happened! Despite this I am very glad for these photos now, they mean a great deal to me.
   
          What can I say, we love a selfie. Here’s some of my favourites!

I hope these pictures were able to bring as smile to your face, as they do mines. 

Mental Health Stigma

Something I cannot make sense of is the stigma around mental illness. Illnesses such as depression or anxiety should not be treated any different from a physical illness. You are struggling. You see a doctor. You find the best treatment for you. To me it’s that simple and I don’t see how anyone can argue against people seeking medical help to improve their health.

Now I do not claim to be an expert on all mental illness, but I do know that there are probably way more people suffering than doctors are even aware of. It is okay to speak out and seek help if you feel something isn’t right. You deserve to be treated with support and respect, and most importantly you deserve to be taken seriously. 

Many people see mental illness as a sign of weakness, which can makes those suffering scared to come forward. But as a mental health activist I feel the need to state the obvious; having an illness does not, and never will, make you weak.

Studies show that at least a quarter of us are going to struggle with our mental health at some stage in our lives. Beating the stigma and working towards positive change in how we treat those struggling is essential for these numbers to decrease. I feel many people, men especially, may be embarrassed to admit they are struggling with their mental health. People fear that because you cannot see these illnesses, like you can of those in a physical nature, they may not be taken seriously. 

I feel this post was necessary because no one should have to suffer in silence. Please reach out if you feel you need support. The only way we will be able to gain the insight we need to begin combatting these life-ruining illnesses is by supplying our doctors with all of the facts. 

I also feel it is essential for me to highlight that if someone opens up to you, please take them seriously. If you make someone feel as though their problems do not matter, they may not feel they are able to reach out to get the support they need. 

At the end of the day mental illnesses impact a huge number of us throughout the world. Whether the impact this has on our lives is minimal, or devastating, it is important we treat each individual with respect and understanding. By speaking out and being able to talk openly about our mental health, we are helping to beat the stigma. 

Netflix

I don’t really know what it is about Netflix that has me as addicted as I am. Perhaps it is the huge selection of shows, or perhaps its that I don’t even need to move a finger for the next episode to start playing! I am more guilty than I would like to admit of binge watching shows on Netflix. We’ve all been there. You know that way where you innocently click on a new tv show with every intention of watching one episode before switching it off and doing something productive? Then before you know it you’re passively glancing at the time to realise its 3 O’clock in the morning and you’re on season 4…

I personally cannot stand having to wait to see what happens in a good TV show. The thought of waiting a week for the next episode is in my opinion, cruel. I much prefer waiting for the entire show to be over, before watching the episodes at my leisure. That being said I do end up wasting days at a time in a trance, completely hooked on whatever I am watching at the time.

Some shows I hugely recommend would be:

• Breaking Bad (Although I assume we’ve all already seen that)
• Dexter
• Prison Break
• The Office US (Not the UK version)
• Parks and Recreation
• That 70’s Show
• Pretty Little Liars
• Peep Show
• American Horror Story

I could go on naming shows forever, as I really do spend more time than I care to admit watching Netflix. I feel that list has a good mix of serious TV shows that will have you on the edge of your seat, and comical shows that really can bring a smile to my face no matter what.

To me sharing good TV shows is a great way to save you watching shows that are mediocre at best. So if you have any recommendations please let me know!

Family

I believe that family is the most important thing in the world. Despite any differences you may have, your family are going to be the only consistent throughout your life. 

I feel it is essential that you cherish the people around you. Whether that is the people in your family home, or extended family. Tell your family how much they mean to you and don’t avoid spending time with them! Many teens would rather be with their friends than family because after all, their friends are the people they choose to have in their lives. I believe that taking your family for granted is easily done, but something we must work to change.

I am not disputing that friends are important, they are but in my opinion family relationships will always outrank friendships. Your family are the people around you that you can constantly lean on for support, whenever you may need it.

Now I know I am blessed as I get along with my family extremely well, and I know for everyone this is not the case. But I just want to highlight that it is so important not to take the most important people in your life for granted. If there is someone in your family you feel you can turn to in a time of need, then utilise that relationship. 

In recent times I have come to realise the important of family. When things get hard it is your family that will stick around to make sure you get through. So take some time out from your busy social life and spend some time with your family. You never know when you’re going to need them! 

   
         

Why Music Matters

I believe that music is good for the soul. Regardless of what genre of music you enjoy, taking a break every now and again to listen to music can almost be therapeutic. I love music. I love discovering new artists and the amazing feeling of falling in love with an album.

When it comes to music there is one thing that I care about more than anything. Gigs. To me there is nothing more magical than seeing an artist you adore live. Being surrounded with people who are all on the exact same page as you in regards to the artist is incredible and the whole experience is incredibly uplifting. I have found that despite being surrounded by strangers, it can often feel as though you are with old friends as you all sing along together without giving it a second thought!

   
  
Some photos from gigs: Biffy Clyro, Jamie T and The Vaccines!

Music plays a huge impact in my life as I know it does with most people. Listening to your favourite song can go a long way in helping to lift your mood when you’re struggling. Also it is reassuring to listen to songs that you feel you can relate to, in a way it is a reminder that you are not alone in whatever you may be going through.

Despite this, music is not only for listening to when you are sad. In my opinion, there is nothing better than being in a good mood and having your favourite happy songs on full blast! Being with friends and having a kareoke session can be hilarious, even if you are completely tonedeaf, a bit like myself. Belting out your favourite songs with your friends is an essential part of any good night out!

   
 

Grief

It is a sad truth that in some stage in your life, you are most likely going to lose someone who means a lot to you. The loss of a loved one affects us all in different ways because we are all different, so it only makes sense that our grieving process would be too. To me, the most important thing to remember when you lose someone is that you are not alone in your grief. There will be other people struggling and no matter how saddening it can be, it is important that you come together with those people to celebrate the life of the person you have lost.

I believe that should be the priority. Coming together to share photographs and stories, to continue to enrich each others lives by sharing new things about the person you have lost. Nothing can ease the pain of losing someone you love but knowing that you are always going to have people to talk to, and memories to look back on, goes a long way in helping you get through the day.

I know this is a subject that a lot of people avoid, but it is important to talk about. Life is short so remember to utilize your time to the best of you ability. Spend time with people you truly love and do the things that make you happy. Losing someone is never going to be easy, but knowing that person made the most of their time, however short, can be a reassuring thought.

I feel I must stress that having a strong support network is essential. Seeing a friend who is devastated can be truly heartbreaking, but regardless you must ensure they know that they have your support. It is okay not to know what to say, and sometimes you don’t need to say anything at all! Just be there for your friend and make them know they are not coming to terms with this loss on their own.

Lastly, it is okay to struggle. Losing someone important is not something we are expected to be able to cope with. However you feel is perfectly okay, even if you don’t feel anything at all. Just remember to reach out, don’t let yourself become overwhelmed by your grief. Speak to friends, family or even a professional. Just do not isolate yourself because as I said at the beginning; you are not alone in your grief.

Positive Thoughts Create Positive Energy

For a long time I disregarded anyone who told me to think positively. I didn’t see the point, how on earth would altering my thoughts change the outcome of something? Surely I was only setting myself up for disappointment? Recently I have come to realise that I could not have been more wrong!

Having a positive attitude is something that affects every aspect of your being. If you believe something is going to work out, then you are much more likely to put the work in to make sure it does. Whereas if you doubt something right from the get go, you’re not going to think twice about giving up entirely. Setting goals and sticking to them is so much easier to do when you are positive about your ability to meet targets!

Motivation is something we all struggle with. We all talk about how much we love to procrastinate and how we will do just about anything to avoid hard work. With a positive attitude you are much more likely to feel motivated. If you are happy and excited about working hard to accomplish something then you will produce superior work, that you can be proud of. Enthusiasm shows, so find something you’re passionate about and you will excel!

Now I know it isn’t easy to have a total shift in your attitude and how you see the world. I myself have had to face some of the most horrible things imaginable and sometimes life just isn’t fair, I know that. Suffering something tragic is not an excuse to hide away and hate the world. Instead utilize your hurt and make something out of it. Write, make art, express yourself. Putting your negative energy into a project you care about and want to do well in is a great way to begin changing those negative feelings into something more positive.

I hope you all are able to take from this that believing in yourself is vital. Dedicating time and energy towards something is admirable and if you are positive and secure in your own abilities, then other people are likely to mirror those feelings. No one can put you down for trying your best at something you’re genuinely excited about!

Individuality

To me, being your own person is essential. If you like something, buy it. If you want to do something, do it! Worrying about the opinions of others is something will only hold you back in life, and it just isn’t worth it. We all feel some pressure to please our peers, to fit in and to feel secure in the fact that other people think of us in high regard. Whether we admit it or not, we all seek approval from our peers a huge majority of the time.

I am not saying it is easy to suddenly break away from the crowd, but it is something that is so important. In my opinion if you believe something will make you happy, then that above anything else is a reason to go for it! At the end of the day, if your friends have something bad to say about you dressing or acting in a way that makes you happy, then are they really your friends at all?

Many people shy away from being themselves as they are scared of being judged. This relates back to my post on confidence as it does take a lot to step forward and break free from the societal norm. To me it is important to remember that realistically, you are going to face judgement in this world. You are going to meet people who disagree with everything you believe in and you are going to come across people who act in a way that you never would. And that is okay. It is okay not to be the same as everyone around you!

We are all entitled to be treated equally for who we are. So be genuine. Be the person that you truly are, instead of what you think you are expected to be. Usually the person who doubts you the most is yourself, and I know I do this without even realising. As long as you respect the choices and opinions of those around you, then you will most likely be treated with the same respect back, so be genuine and put yourself out into the world as you truly are! You’ll soon realise you had no reason to doubt yourself.

Ben Mclean

This post is probably going to be a long one, because honestly there will never be enough words to do Ben justice. As far back as I can remember Ben has been not only my brother but also my best friend. Despite their being nearly three years between us, Ben never spoke down to me. Instead he spoke to my like a friend, someone he could count on, and that is something that means the world to me. 

 I don’t think I will ever be able to explain the impact Ben has had on my life. Ben has influenced every aspect of my being. My personality, my sense of humor, my dress sense and my music taste were all passed on to me by my amazing brother. To say I admire Ben would be potentially the biggest understatement of all time. Never in my life have I come across a more patient and compassionate person, someone so selfless that they would sacrifice their own happiness in order to lend a helping hand to a friend. Ben was the most genuine person I know and he excelled in everything he put his mind to. His writing was simply breathtaking, potentially the best I have ever read and thanks to Ben, I have read a lot. He was also so intelligent, it was truly remarkable to see. Ben was passionate about learning and expanding his knowledge on all of the things he cared about, and sharing a house with someone with such a strong worth ethic was truly inspirational.

Ben was determined to leave his mark on this world. He wanted to spend his life helping others. I cannot remember a time where Ben ever mentioned any career other than medicine. He  literally walked in to pick his subjects in second year and asked exactly what he would need to get started on his chosen career path. I don’t want to go on too much about Ben’s intelligence because despite it being one of his greatest features, it was still only one of many.  

 

Ben during a short study break, where he of course balanced his book on his face and got a selfie.  

Now, if you were to only know Ben as a medical student you would probably be stunned if you stumbled across his twitter account. Ben was hilarious. Genuinely the most witty, and outrageous boy to walk this Earth. I love that about him. He was so outspoken about some of the most inappropriate things, and he was shameless about it. As I said, hilarious. Ben would text me jokes despite the fact we were in the same house, mostly because we are both ridiculously lazy but also because a lot of the time, if my mum heard him saying them aloud, he’d have got his head kicked in.

I don’t think I can count how many times Ben would return home from a night out, decide he just had to wake me up and tell me about his night, and then have me make him food instead. Ben was genuinely the life and soul of the party and some of the stories he would tell me will continue to make me laugh for the rest of my life. Now that I am thinking about it, I probably got all of my dodgy dance moves from him, considering, a bit like myself, he had absolutely no rhythm and even less shame.

  
When Ben moved to Edinburgh I was genuinely heartbroken. How was I expected to enjoy myself without my partner in crime by my side every day? Little did I know Ben would be texting me all day every day, which certainly helped me adjust! To say we are a close family would be putting it lightly. We all spend our time practically superglued together. And not just the five of us, I mean cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, the lot. All together, all the time. There is nothing me and Ben enjoyed more than a family party. Firstly because what is better than free alcohol, and secondly because it meant we got to choose the music! (Of course the company was not too shabby either.)

Ben adored music, and his spotify playlist is quite literally a piece of art. He had an incredible interest in seeking out new bands and forcing me to listen to them. Which to his frustration I rarely did. On multiple occasions Ben will have shown me the same song three or four times because he wanted someone to share  his excitement about this new life changing song. When it came to music Ben’s favourite things to say were “I can’t believe you haven’t heard this” or “SURELY you’ve heard this?” Nothing like an older brother to make you feel insecure about your own music taste, eh?

 
Me and Ben at one of many gigs! 

I could go on forever, and this definitely won’t be my only post about Ben. I said earlier my heart broke when he moved an hour away, so you can imagine the pain I am feeling now that he is gone forever. It’s unbearable. Ben was amazing, truly my best friend and no one will ever compare. This one’s for the most amazing boy in a lot of people’s lives, we love you Ben.

Here are some absolute belters of the legend himself.